{"product_id":"how-we-die","title":"BEST 9 How We Die T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eThere are moments in horse ownership when you look at what's happening and realize:\u003cspan class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis is it. This is how we die.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot doing something heroic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot galloping across the open range.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause your horse just discovered a balloon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis Is How We Die\u003c\/strong\u003e is for every rider who's felt their horse's entire body tense over an object that poses approximately zero threat to anyone — except, apparently, the horse's continued existence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe eyes get big.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe nostrils get bigger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd suddenly you're sitting on 1,100 pounds of prey-animal survival instinct with absolutely nowhere productive to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCould the balloon kill us?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCould your horse's \u003cem\u003ereaction\u003c\/em\u003e to the balloon kill us?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow we're asking the right question.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHorse owners and riders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone with a professional-level spooker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTrainers who've accepted their fate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEquestrians with dark-ish humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny horse gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePainfully accurate horse-person humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExpressive, slightly unhinged horse artwork\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA joke every rider understands immediately\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for barn days and casual wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCelebrates the completely rational fears of the domestic horse\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eBella Canvas Size guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ch5\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0927\/1935\/0124\/files\/BELLA_CANVAS_3001_SIZE_GUIDE.png?v=1790526981\" title=\"Bella Canvas Size Guide\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eVIEW SIZE GUIDE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Barb's No BS","offers":[{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":54264747131244,"sku":"5560006_8923","price":29.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 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